trip

Went to stonehenge today.
which was one of the seven wonders of the world.


The scenery was very nice. but it was very windy.
winter is near. very near.
the mystery of the rocks is that no one knows how it got to this place.
many people were there visiting the rocks.
basically there was only rocks at the place.
and all we did was listen to the audio thing that explains all the information about stonehenge,
and what we did was take pictures of every angle of the stones.
each angle is different from the other angle.
oh, and we saw pigs on our way to stonehenge.
the pigs were huge and have much more freedom compare to pigs in malaysia.
cleaner too.
we call it free range pigs here.
pigs, chickens here are all free range.
means they are not caged in this tiny 4x4m space.
they roam freely in the field! be chickens here also happier and have so much freedom!
die also can die happier than other types of chicken.

random emotion

Tell me where I stand
Are we gonna be hand in hand
Or did I just fall in love with a friend
Tell me where I stand
We aint' gotta move it No where
I just gotta know where I am

You gotta know what I'm feeling when I see you babe
It's been a while we been dealing with each other this way-eeyh
And I'm always here to wipe youre tears
Lying by your side if they turnin on you
I wanna be your all is what I wanna do I'm giving all I can
You gotta let me know where I am

Tell me where I stand
Are we gonna be hand in hand
Or did I just fall in love with a friend
Tell me where I stand
We aint' gotta move it nowhere
I just gotta know where I am

Tell me where I stand
Are we gonna be hand in hand
Or did I just fall in love with a friend
Tell me where I stand
We aint' gotta move it nowhere
I just gotta know where I am

I always wanna see you smiling back at me
And I've been thinkin' this is where I wanna be
If I can make it so you'll never hurt again
I'll do whatever say whatever give the best I can
Should I have another waiting on the side?
Should I have another that I see at night?
I wanna be with you and this is what I planed
But I gotta know where I stand

(Tell me where I stand
Are we gonna be hand in hand
Or did I just fall in love with a friend
Tell me where I stand
We aint' gotta move it nowhere
I just gotta know where I am

Tell me should I care if you care if you stay out all night?
Tell me should I care if you go out whit another guy?
And if you give a damn where I'm at
And if you give a damn where I am
Then I gotta know where I stand

Tsunami of emotions

I guess its not the first time my heart is left broken,
I guess its not the first time i cry and not the last time it will happen,
cause i just cant stop thinking of you,
I'm just an ordinary fool who is always around you, always willing to sit around and wait for you
But baby, you dont seem to see that I'm the only one, waiting for you
I'm deeply in love with you
My head says "let it go"
My heart says "dont let go"
And holding on to the end, is what i will do.

I have a picture, pinned to my wall
An image of you and me and we are laughing about it all,
Look at us now, tattered and torn.
We fuss, we fight and delight in the tears that we cry till the dawn,
I thought of stopping and somewhere far far away,
But baby, you know very well that there's no where that i'd rather go than to be with you,
You ask if i love you, well what can i say?
You know that I do and its gonna be the same,
So i will sing you a new song, please don't cry anymore,
I will be asking for you forgiveness, though I dont know what im asking it for,
But i definitely hope i get forgiven for each time i ask,
Baby,
how i wish u can hold me now, warm my heart, and stay with me. and let the loving start, between u and me.

Me, you and us

Hey baby,
im sorry that I'm the cause of the tears and created so many doubts in your mind recently.
the first thing i would like to tell you is that, please dont put the blame on yourself as this relationship is ours and not yours alone. i have to take a partial of the blame too.
You might think its ridiculous but please dont put in heart whatever i say to you or how the way i talk to you during the night. You do know that i dont sleep during the noons therefore i am really groggy at night when i wait all the way till 5am. and frankly speaking, i dont really remember well about what we argued for yesterday. I remember saying hey baby, talked to u nicely about what u had for dinner and i seriously dont recall when i started to get cranky and started to argue. well i'm really sorry. I think most of us feels the frustration when we are tired late in the night, right?
but i know i cant boldly blame it on being tired, cause i know its ridiculous. so im sorry too baby, ok?

another thing is that you know when i ask you why arent u talking, as in literally asking u? I dont mean it directly as in why u not talking to me, I actually wanted to ask you why arent u talking out to me about wat u feel. You know i dont want anything to happen to our relationship,but why each time i want to talk to you about something, you just dont voice out. maybe you are scared of saying the wrong thing or something, but baby, i wont blame you. i just want the best to happen between both of us and it needs the contribution of both of us. both of us need to play our part and make our relationship go better. thats the reason why i always ask u why u not talking to me? its not because that you straight away dont talk to me. understand? hope u do, =P kinda confusing also.

by the way, i just want to say that i am sorry and i am part to blame for whatever had happened also ok darling? dont blame yourself only ok? mwah.. I am sorry too.

I will be waiting for you in the morning (your time) to talk to u again ok?
i love you darling, mwah. i hope we can make things go better as it seriously hurts me to see you expressing in such a sad tone. =( it breaks my heart. i hope i can mend your heart though, i hope and i pray.

not so good.

I dont know why most of the time after dinner we cant chat happily.
I dont know why most of the nights, we just burst out into tears.
tears not because i miss home.
tears because of us.
sometimes, i dont know what to do when u asked me why dont i talk to u.
whether should i continue looking at u?
whether should i go on and do my things?
maybe you heard a thousand times that i am not such a talkative person.
but i just dont know how to respond to you when we start to talk in a not so happy way.
sometimes i just think that this would not happen if i dint study overseas.
sometimes i just wonder that maybe these arguments wont happen if i dint come to the uk.
i once thought that there won't be any argumeents between us.
but they is no escape, including us.
but i just dont know why, it became worse,
since i came to the uk.
is it because of the time gap?
is it because we are half way around the world apart?
is it because we're 7 hours difference?
is it because of you waiting for me the whole day?
talking to u in the morning just makes me happy.
but i realise its a different story at night.
maybe because you are tired and need to sleep but sometimes i'm still out having dinner which makes you frustrated cause i am not yet back to talk.
so maybe that's how the sad thing started.
i know you want our relationship to continue and be better or something.
and maybe sorry isn't the word you want to hear since i said it a thousand times.
i don't blame you but put myself to blame.
i'm just not good at expressing myself.
i just dont want anything sad to happen.

sincerely sorry darling.

too free

played around with some picture editing stuff i found on the net.
the results turned out to be satisfying. =)
i love polaroids lo.but its costly to own one. =(
so make use of free stuffs on the net.
tomorow's the first day of class.
feeling a little nervous cause i won't be in a class full of asians, but in a class full of guai lous.
quite a big change and challenge for me.
all of us are expected to ask questions, participate, give ideas and self study first before entering class. unlike in m'sia, where most of the students are spoon fed.
cham lo. i very shy one, how to talk in class le?? lols.

A night of memories